My friend Elizabeth is an undertaker and also has a blog. At a recent gathering, she talked about her latest post discussing all the various options that were now available for funerals. Options that she thought people might not be familiar. Elizabeth of course cited the coffin and the urn, but she also enlightened us on the simpler plain pine box, and the newer methods of a basket or a shroud. It was intriguing. I had never imagined. My eyes lit up, and rightaway I saw a corner of that market I could cover, invest in, and make my fortune. The “Penitent Themed Funeral,” I’d call it. The deceased’s remains would be cremated and placed in a Pinata … or if the dead person was really that bad in life, I could skip the cremation and wrap the body in Crêpe paper (Note: use iron pipe instead of wooden stick if this is the case … and oh yes … do remember to drain the blood first).

Real: Elizabeth did not once mention a pinata as an option.

Not Real: Elizabeth mentioning the pinata as an option (Hey, I have to make sure this is clear. I don’t want to get sued.).

Anonymous