A wife caught her husband eyeing an alluring young lady. “Do you know that woman?” the man’s wife said accusingly.

“Her?” the man innocently answered with a smile, while he brushed up the edges of his moustache. “Mabel, she’s not remotely familiar to me.”

Mabel huffed and her eyes lit. “That’s what I thought,” she said and slapped him soundly. A quivering vein descended from her forehead. “And you think your being honest now is going to make it any better, Ronald?” she cried as her eyes continued to balloon … and then remembering the lady that she was … snugly closed her fist and answered the simmering question, “What would this sound like on his face?” by putting it to practice.

Ronald and his moustache peeled themselves up from the pavement as Mabel gloated over him. “How not remote was that, Ronald,” she added, sniffling up her melting heart running from her nose, “how not remote?” and stamped away in a whimpering fury.

Alas … somewhere there is a dictionary to blame for this unfortunate occurrence … if not many.

Roger McManus