Tag Archives: joke

Send the Horses Out to Pasture, Why Don’t You?

One of the first pioneers in the equal rights movement was Betsy the cow as she made her first go for a win in the Kentucky Derby. What? It’s more than obvious by your reaction, that your interpretation of equal … Continue reading

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Ruff Times

   Harold always sensed he wasn’t ma and pa’s favorite, but it became quite evident to him to what extent he really wasn’t, when with hard times upon the family and food needing to be rationed out, all his brothers … Continue reading

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New Classifications of Pine Trees Excite the World

   Two new classifications for pine trees have been revealed, exciting not only the arborist community, but the botanist community at large around the globe. The first, stated simply by its Latin calling card of Pinicus Dignificus, has been distinguished by its honorable and tall stance amongst others of its … Continue reading

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Slanted Definitions 5

Uncanny – Anything in a box Maelstrom – Man’s stroke of a string instrument, downward as opposed to the upward and underhand stroke commonly referred to as a femaelstrum Kilowatt – Common utterance of a deaf hitman Judo – a … Continue reading

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Slanted Definitions 4

Hemlock – a secondary precaution after the chastity belt. Coupe – Home for French hens Ubiquitous – Old English, found in many Shakespearean plays to announce, in a derogatory fashion, that someone is a female dog. Conjunction – Where crooks meet … Continue reading

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Dog Days

A flea was sneezing and coughing when its friend, Tick, walked in. “What’s wrong with you?” Tick asked. “Oh, I don’t know,” Flea replied. “I just don’t feel too good.” “No? Well there is something going around,” Tick added. “You … Continue reading

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Birds in the Bush

                                Do you see them? You don’t? Well, how about this? Think that the bush is mad at you and telling you to “… off.” Now you see them? I remember being greeted by theses beauties all over town … Continue reading

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Slanted Definitions 3

Catastrophe – The punctuation alerting of a cat’s ownership of something Photograph – Fake diagram of a toe Pilot – A large batch of a certain type of baked good Clockwise – To know the difference between the little hand … Continue reading

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No Osteoporosis Here

   A skeleton stood with its organs, innards, and folds of skin and hair fallen to its feet like an oversized set of trousers. Its bare jawbones chomped, “Well … at least I know those calcium supplements worked.” Roger McManus

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Slanted Definitions 2

Dated – A condition where purplish fruit grows out from under your skin, commonly misdiagnosed as Figured. Gruesome – Taller Payment – A form of mortar used to fix houses that have become money pits. Pillow – Suppository Optical – The … Continue reading

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